New Graduate Success Story - Debbra, a full circle

Date Posted: July 21, 2010

My name is Debbra and I was court committed to Second Genesis when I was 14 years old. I ran away from home so many times and was constantly suspended from school for fighting or cutting class. I remember the Judge asked me if I ever used any drugs. I responded yes and at that point the Judge told my parents that I needed help from a drug program that was taking teenagers. I arrived on March 24, 1975, at the old location on 301 in Upper Marlboro. It was an old, large building that use to be a hotel. I was so scared but there was no way out. Either I stay in the program or get locked up. The Judge made it clear that I would not be going back home.

Let me describe what I saw when I walked in the door with the Youth Intake Counselor, Peter Crockett, I’ll never forget. There were so many people. Some adult men with shaved heads and females with stocking caps over their head, walking around with large cardboard signs around there neck with a statement written about some kind of problem they were having. I remember seeing an adult male scrubbing the baseboard in the hallway with a toothbrush. There was a staff member in the hallway yelling at this person. Females were a minority at this facility so I was assigned to an older resident (someone who had been in the program and would make sure that I was supervised at all times). I was in what was known as Induction – everyone completes Induction before you could have any privileges like writing a letter, making a phone call, having a visit with your family, a day out with supervision, a day out without supervision, and finally overnight visits with your family. We were not allowed to watch television during the day and everyone was assigned some type of responsibility in the house. I immediately thought that I had only smoked marijuana twice and I did not belong in this program.

After a couple of months, the staff and residents helped me realize that I was no different than anybody else because my negative behavior was out of control. I remember my first large cardboard sign read: “I compromise and hold onto negative patterns which stunts my growth, please ask me Why? “ I do not remember if I ever really understood the meaning of the words until long after I completed the program. I remember the encounter groups where we got to yell at another resident for something they did or did not do. I remember the staff members leading the groups and helping us realize that we needed to make changes in our life. The staff shared their own life struggles as a result of using drugs and/or alcohol.

To this day, I remember the names of all the staff members who poured out there hearts everyday to help every resident in the program. I remember our Morning Meetings where we would always start out by reciting the following: No man or women here stands alone. We together are one but many. Aware of our frailties and failings we strive to find strength in each other through the ancient concept of honesty and love. We must be open. We must not return to the practice of hiding our defeats. We stand strong in our beliefs and firm in our convictions and to draw from these convictions that which when cultivated will contribute most to our common goal. That of creating a new man or women unto themselves. ( not sure if I got it right but it is still on my heart).

Of course at the age of 14 , I did not understand what this truly meant. Then someone would sing a song or read a poem or give some encouraging words of wisdom. We all hugged one another at the end of the morning meeting and went on with our responsibilities for the day.

I remember the enormous amount of love from the other residents and the positive relationships with others, although I did not get along with everyone. The main theme was to take responsibility for your actions. There were positive consequences for good behavior and negative consequences for negative behavior. We had to learn how to deal with the positive as well as the challenges of living in what was known as a community. We were a family. I remember feeling such a sense of loss once I moved into Phase III and missing the ones who made a significant impact on my life.

As a result of this experience, I returned home. I completed high school and went onto college. In 1985, I graduated with a Masters Degree in Social Work (imagine that). For the past 25 years, I have worked in Child Welfare – investigating child abuse and neglect allegations. I also have a private practice doing individual, marital and family counseling. I have one adult son and two grandchildren. I adopted a sibling group of 4 children that had been lost in the foster care system. I am currently working on a Doctorate Degree in Christian Counseling.

I now know the meaning of what my first large cardboard sign meant. I now know the meaning of the words we recited every morning. I know that I am a Licensed Social Worker today because of the love and compassion that was shown to me while at Second Genesis. I know my purpose is to serve those in need and I am dedicated to working with children, teenagers and adults. This experience helped me realize that I had a choice not to continue my destructive patterns of behavior and that drugs and alcohol have a negative impact on our life. I listened to the impact drugs and alcohol had on the lives of the people in our community and knew if I did not change my life would be full of disappointment, despair, anger, regrets, shame and hurt. This does not mean that I have not experienced these feelings in my life. It means that I am not using alcohol or drugs to deal with my feelings.

I will be 50 years old this year and I want to encourage anyone that took the time to read this testimony to believe that your life is worth living without using drugs and/or alcohol. No matter how long you have lived a life style using drugs and/or alcohol. I continue to have positive life experiences as well as trials and tribulations. Just remember that no victory ever comes without a struggle and all of our struggles are meant to make us stronger. You must take a stand and believe that your life is full of hope and worth living without any substance that will alter your mood or behavior. I want to encourage you to allow the purpose and the vision of Second Genesis to work in your life.